So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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