You can't special order awesome
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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