I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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