I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
