the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
