I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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