was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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