And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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