I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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