Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
