I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
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Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
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Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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