I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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