I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
