I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The struggles of a small town man whore
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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