Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
