i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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