bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
