he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
