OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
