She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
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I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
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Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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