FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
