We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
