you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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