You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
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