she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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