I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
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