Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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