I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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