Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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