I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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