i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
