I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
