Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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