i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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