Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize