I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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