He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
