I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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