You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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