we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
