He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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