What did we do last night that was yellow?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
