Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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