You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
