you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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