They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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