I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
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he confused my yawn for an orgasm
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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