Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
