worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
A bitchslap is in order.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
