ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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