shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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