We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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