my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
