i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
