6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize