If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
