Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
