So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
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Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
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you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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