my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
