there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
