Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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